So. Since my surgery I've been having a hard time accepting the fact that I may never have a baby. The surgeon removed one of ovaries and part of the other one. He said my chances were 50/50. I'm over a month out and still haven't had my period, or any signs that its on the way. I have, however, been very very hormonal. My moods are off the charts. My boyfriend who I will address on here as "C", is pretty sure I'm bi-polar. Its a good possibility.
The doctors can't tell me if, or when my period will show up. That doesn't make me happy. I've never been one of those women who go gaga over babies. I'm too career focused, but to have that option taken away? I feel cheated by own body. I never minded my period before, I mean I was always happy when it showed up and always a little scared when it was a couple days late. Now? I really really really want it to show up.
Every time I see a pregnant woman or one of my friends tell me they're expecting I feel a little twinge of jealousy. I'll make the best of it, whatever happens in the future. I'm just feeling a little blue right now.
XOXO
Shanna
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